DADDY, DON’T GO!!!

How do you mentally deal with 80+ hour work weeks and having a family? 

“DADDY, I DON’T WANT YOU TO GO!” cries our 3 year old daughter as I’m hugging her before I go to pick up a delivery I just accepted.  How do I deal with feeling that I’m abandoning my family, especially when I know I’ll probably be gone for the next 14 hours? Knowing I’ll get home just in time for prayers and maybe to read a book as I put her to bed?   On top of that having to kiss my wife as I walk out the door knowing I’m leaving all the daily chores and the care of our daughter for her?

The only place I can start is with the why. We talked about this in a previous post but just for a refresher, the “why” is so we never have to again.  This is part of the slavery that our debt has placed on us. Yes we could put our dreams and quality of life on hold a little longer, and pay off the debt slower, but why?  We are so close at this point. 

Bethany and I have been trying out some different ideas to help alleviate this. I have started asking Lydia every night before bed to tell me about her day. I do get some interesting “stories,” but it allows Lydia to have my undivided attention for 2-5 minutes every day. I hope it also shows her that what she is doing is important to me. It seems to be working (Proud Daddy Moment)  at least twice now when I forgot to ask her, she stopped me and said “ But Daddy, I need to tell you about my day!!” Ok so it may have just been a stall tactic to stay up later but it still made me feel proud. 

We also have started family walks on mornings when we can make it work. This has given Bethany and I time to talk about life and how things are going. This week we started figuring out what is next after the debt is paid off. I’ve also got to pick flowers with Lydia and we are always on the lookout for wildlife on our walks. Plus we get the added bonus of a light workout which is always good.

The last thing, so far, that we have started is trying to make 9pm-10pm our time, Mike and Bethany time. We have boxes of junk to go through, or we sit and talk, watch a TV show every now and then, or read to each other. This has helped me give Bethany the time and undivided attention she needs from me, so when I have a few minutes during the day, when Lydia is up, I can give her my undivided attention.

These steps haven’t been perfect, but it’s been a good start. I really feel like Bethany and I have had better communication the past few weeks and it has helped our home to be a nicer place to be. These steps have also helped put some boundaries on our time helping us stay more focused when we need to be to show each other that we care, and want to make these times happen.

This has been an exciting and very challenging time in our lives.  It hasn’t been easy but we are all excited about what the future holds for our family. Please be in prayer for Godly guidance and wisdom as we push onward in this endeavor. Lastly if any of you have any advice or ideas that might help us, please share them with us in the comments section below. Thank you for taking the time to read this and caring about what we have been up to.